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Are you struggling to spend all of your money each month? Do you get to the end of the month, only to learn that cash is just sitting there in your checking account? Well if you’ve got this problem (and who doesn’t?) here are 10 surefire solutions:

  1. Stop Tracking Your Spending: When I see a family with excess cash each month, 9 times out of 10, the problem is they’re keeping track of what they spend. So turn off that spreadsheet and uninstall Quicken. And while your at it, go ahead and disable the check engine light on your car.
  2. Buy More House Than You Need: Buying a monster house and financing 100% of the purchase with a first mortgage and one or two equity lines of credit is a great way to rid your bank account of all that excess cash. Oh, and make sure the loan comes with a variable interest rate and interest only payments. You may spend less at first, but don’t worry, in a few years money will by flying out of your checking account like chili out of a drunken sailor.
  3. Lease a New Car Each Year: An oldie but a goodie. Make it a fancy import, and you’ll supercharge your spending.
  4. Buy Now, Think Later: Life is short. Work hard, play hard. You only live once. You can’t take it with you. So when you see that plasma TV, or country club membership, or Rolex watch, or jet ski, buy now and think later.
  5. Charge! Don’t pay cash, charge it. I know this seems counterintuitive. After all, our goal here is to spend cash. But to reach that goal, you must think long term. Charging your purchases may save some cash up front, but give it a few months or a year, and you’ll be spending more cash paying off those cards than you ever dreamed of (remember the drunken sailor).
  6. Invest in Real Estate with No Money Down! Dive right into the deep end with some no money down real estate investments. In no time you’ll be spending money on broken air conditioners, new roofs, and legal costs for tenants who don’t pay their rent. Now I know what you’re saying–what about those infomercials and cheesy books that promise real estate riches in no time using Other Peoples Money? Great question, so see my next tip.
  7. Spend Lots of Money on Real Estate Infomercials and Cheesy Books: Not only will you be wasting money in no time, but you’ll develop a false sense of security to help you dive into real estate (See Tip # 6). If you need a push, repeat after me–Real Estate Prices NEVER Go Down.
  8. Use Your ATM Card Like a Rented Mule: What are ATM cards for but to withdraw lots of cash. If you use it enough (and follow Tip # 1), by the end of the month you will have burned through tons of cash and, as a bonus, will have no clue where all the money went.
  9. Don’t Talk to Your Spouse About Money: This may seem like odd advice, but I’ve found that if you don’t communicate with your spouse about money, spending it frivolously becomes a lot easier.
  10. Don’t Plan Ahead: Don’t plan for the car insurance payment due in a few months, or your yearly life insurance premium. And don’t save ahead for vacations or gifts. Let these expenses surprise you when they come due, and you’ll really drain that bank account fast.

Well, there you have it. Oh, and if there’s anybody out there who actually wants to spend LESS than you make, pretend this is opposite day (I learned that one from my kids).

Author Bio

Total Articles: 1118
Rob founded the Dough Roller in 2007. A litigation attorney in the securities industry, he lives in Northern Virginia with his wife, their two teenagers, and the family mascot, a shih tzu named Sophie.

Article comments

DebtFree Revolution says:

Oh I love this! Maybe it’s my twisted and sarcastic sense of humor but honestly I can say that at least five of those I have tried myself and can vouch for their effectiveness!

Nantahala says:

This is great, so prefectly sarcastic. I lol’d.

MoneyBlogga says:

Wow are you sure you weren’t that fly on the wall in my house? Great article – it sounds like the blueprint of my life up until a couple of months ago. I can relate to all of the above but especially #2 …

Raquel says:

Great post. I invest in real estate buying properties all cash and in full. Spent about $200 buying books on how to buy real estate with no cash down and no matter how I do the math it just doesn’t make any sense. It’s like a ponzi scheme.

Rob Berger says:

All cash deals are amazing.