Dough Roller’s 5th Grade Teacher Discusses Retirement

Mrs. Shurbert is a fictional character based loosely on one of my elementary school teachers. Her name has been changed, of course, to protect the guilty.

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I want first to thank DR for letting me post a few articles here at Dough Roller.net. I can still remember the day he walked into my fifth grade classroom many years ago. I could spot a trouble maker a mile away, and I spotted him. All in all, though, he was a good kid. Had a mouth on him, but harmless most of the time. A whiz at math, but couldn’t spell to save his life.

Anyway, I’m retired now. I’m active in my church and see my five grandchildren a couple of times a month. My husband Walter’s passion is golf. He plays almost every day. Fortunately, we diligently saved for our retirement, so we’re doing just fine. And this brings me to the point of my first article here at Dough Roller.net. DR tells me some of you aren’t saving for retirement. Apparently, some of you think you’re too young to begin saving, or too old, or too broke, or too bewildered by all of the investing options. Well, if I were there next to you I’d do what I did to DR when he mouthed off in my class, I’d back hand you upside your dimwitted head. You’re not too young or too broke or too bewildered; you’re just plain stupid.

Now, maybe DR doesn’t talk that way to you because he’s afraid he’ll lose all his precious visitors to the Dough Roller. But I couldn’t give a rat’s backside whether you ever come back here or not, so long as you start saving for retirement TODAY.

Look, Walter and I never made a lot of money. He worked as the janitor at my school, which is how we met 48 years ago. It seems like yesterday. We weren’t investing wizards. But we knew we needed to save, and save we did. Just a few dollars at first, but with each raise, we increased our savings. In our thirties we were saving 15% of our pay, and hardly missed it. It always amazed me how we never gave much thought to the money and always made ends meet some how. And we didn't make great investments, either. Just your basic mutual funds.

We lived simply. We’re still in the same house where we raised our two boys. It’s kind of funny to think that our neighbors have no idea how much we have. I normally don’t talk about these things, but DR says it may help encourage some of you to start saving for retirement. Well,`what I’m trying to say is Walter and I ended up with more than $2 million in investments and a house that’s paid for. I chuckle every time I think about it.

If you’re not saving for retirement, start today. The sooner you start, the easier it is. And you’ll be amazed at how quickly you forget about the money. Oh, and I didn’t really mean to call you stupid. I think a better word would have been ninny.

Mrs. Shurbert
Retired 5th Grade Teacher

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DR: If you think she was a bit tough on you, imagine what fifth grade was like for me. And if you like taking the abuse Mrs. Shurbert dishes, subscribe to the Dough Roller via a feed or by e-mail. As I’ve said before, it’s free and worth every penny! Right, Mrs. Shurbert? whack!

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