THis is a touching story. The more we think of such a “past hurt” the longer the pain will endure. Somehow, we have to find a way to flush this out.

I use the method of telling myself, “that this is their level of knowledge, sense of integrity and education.” With this level, what they did was what they thought was fine.

And move on.

Pain may still endure, especially when we have to run into them often and maintain pleasantries. I find that repeatedly reminding ourselves of the above help.

Thank God there is God to finally sort this kind of things out.

Your thoughts apply to many situations beyond money. Thanks for giving me so much to think about!

I guess we all eventually experience financial betrayal and ugliness. It’s the betrayals by family, motivated by greed or sheer selfishness, that can hurt for a lifetime.

My deep and as-yet unhealed financially-motivated wound came at the hands of my father. When my grandmother died she left a huge estate including original artwork (including several Picasso’s) and first edition, personalized books (she and my grandfather socialized with the likes of Tennessee Williams and Robert Penn Warren). Not to mention the china and silver and palatial house and stock holdings and cash.

She also left a butter-yellow 1965 Ford Mustang. The Mustang was the only thing I wanted. Everyone knew the Mustang was mine — eventually. Then my father sold it. He needed some cash and rather than liquidate any other part of his vast holdings, he sold my Mustang. For a mere $1,000.

I was my grandmother’s namesake and I had very fond memories of her from my childhood. All I wanted was that one piece of her.

Someday, when I my children are grown, through college, and are financially independent, I’m going to buy myself a 1965 Mustang. It won’t be the same, of course, as having Grandmother’s car, but the act will be my final act of independence from my father — who will most likely, by that point, no longer be alive.

The concept of Time that you mentioned for healing is awesome I completely agree with you. Time gives and the break to think what is correct and act upon it.

While I am perfectly financialy independent (I didn’t need that money, far from it in fact) it would have been VERY useful for my youngest brother in college and my middle brother who was setting up home at the time. THe greed of my parents and my relatives irked me so much that my wife and family have not had proper relations with them for 10 years now.

I know it is terrible when this happens but I was so close to my grandparents, who were there for me when my parents weren’t, that I can find no forgiveness in my heart for them. They were complicit in denying the wishes of my grandparents and I will never forgive them for that.

This can and does destroy families, if we (my wife and I) hadn’t had children I doubt whether I would have ANY relaionship with my parents. As it stands we only have a partial relationship because they are my childrens grandparents and they need to have grandparents. It’s tough maintaining a relationship with them and.. well, I’m sure their are other people out their how can understand how I and my wife feel.

Bless all