Comments on: Do You ‘Steal’ Money From Your Spouse? http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/ Money Management and Personal Finance | The Dough Roller Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:10:27 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: DR http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-12930 DR Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:18:25 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-12930 I wonder if counseling would help. If a couple is not honest and upfront about money, it makes any relationship very difficult to sustain. I wonder if counseling would help. If a couple is not honest and upfront about money, it makes any relationship very difficult to sustain.

]]> By: Mad in Mississippi http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-12928 Mad in Mississippi Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:41:48 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-12928 My fiance' for the longest has been taking/stealing money from me for as long as I can remember. We have been together for 6years, and with the exception for his neglect to be honest about needing money, we have had no other problems. When we first met we were young living on minimal wage jobs, and he would use my debit card or pawn items in the house he thought I wouldn't miss. As we grew older we started to make good money(he made really really good money), but he couldn't manage it well. So once he was out of money he would again use my debit card without my knowing. If I noticed it and mentioned it, he would deny at first then call me miss sherlock holmes and eventually he would say " I make money I can just replace it." I think what pisses me off the most is that if he was honest with me, we could pool the money and budget, but because of his past I am afraid to give him access to my earnings, because we may end up with nothing. My fiance’ for the longest has been taking/stealing money from me for as long as I can remember. We have been together for 6years, and with the exception for his neglect to be honest about needing money, we have had no other problems. When we first met we were young living on minimal wage jobs, and he would use my debit card or pawn items in the house he thought I wouldn’t miss. As we grew older we started to make good money(he made really really good money), but he couldn’t manage it well. So once he was out of money he would again use my debit card without my knowing. If I noticed it and mentioned it, he would deny at first then call me miss sherlock holmes and eventually he would say ” I make money I can just replace it.” I think what pisses me off the most is that if he was honest with me, we could pool the money and budget, but because of his past I am afraid to give him access to my earnings, because we may end up with nothing.

]]> By: michele http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7393 michele Sat, 17 May 2008 13:22:48 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7393 my husband used to squirrel away money all the time and have it in a jar in his shed somewhere. I learned about it after a while and from then on always suspected he kept doing it. he would go to the ATM and take out money which i thought he was using for petrol etc but he would be hiding it. I must state that he thought he was doing the right thing by saving for a rainy day but it was up to him when he thought he should bring it out, it didn't matter to him whether I was lying awake at night worrying myself to the bones over bills etc which incidentally he has always left to me and never shared the stress of( which is my fault i should have requested that we do this as a team but I didn't know so much then) Sometimes he would use this money to make some improvement to the home which i was never consulted on and which people later would comment on and say "WOW, michele aren't you lucky you have a husband who does such nice things..." Initially I thought oh, yeah, i guess i am but the improvemnets were never anything vital, he never does little jobs I ask for,like make a proper fence for my dog who always jumps out if i forget to put her inside for a storm, or fix that bit of wood skirting back so that when i vacuum I don't knock it loose by mistake, he made a fancy patio when we already had an ordinary patio and he installed a dishwasher when I didn't even want or need one, lots of stuff that no doubt increases the value of our home but there have been so many times when I have not been able to manage and have been borrowing from peter to pay paul, the toll on my health I have to say has been severe in the past from stress and worry. It has hurt me so much that he could know I was suffering and knowingly keep that money from me that I could have used to pay school fees etc or bills just so he could do his little projects. I personally could never do that, if I knew he or any member of my family or friends were worrrying themselves sick like that and i had the spare cash even if i was saving for something special i would give it to them... life's too short and it's only material goods, better to help someone out than save up for rangehoods, patios and rock walls. I don;'t think he does it now as we are better off and the kids have grown up and left home, things are niot so strained, but it wouldn't surprise me if i disovered he still did. That's the worst of it.I learned that he would put his desires over my needs if he felt like that. We'ce been married 22 years and I would say have a pretty good marriage, he's a good husband in many ways but I don't think I ever will understand this trait of his and I don't think much of it. When people comment to me about things he's done to the house I say to them, " I don't care a fig about it " I had a perfectly good patio, stove etc before that, not as pretty but nothing worng with it, and the trauma that all cost me in terms of not beeing able to pay my bills because of it was not worth it, to ME. I always tell people, that it HIS patio and HIS wall and HIS whatever becasue I never got asked diod I want this or did i think it was a good idea. He just did it anyways. I love him but I think this was selfish. I could never do that to anyone. my husband used to squirrel away money all the time and have it in a jar in his shed somewhere. I learned about it after a while and from then on always suspected he kept doing it. he would go to the ATM and take out money which i thought he was using for petrol etc but he would be hiding it. I must state that he thought he was doing the right thing by saving for a rainy day but it was up to him when he thought he should bring it out, it didn’t matter to him whether I was lying awake at night worrying myself to the bones over bills etc which incidentally he has always left to me and never shared the stress of( which is my fault i should have requested that we do this as a team but I didn’t know so much then) Sometimes he would use this money to make some improvement to the home which i was never consulted on and which people later would comment on and say “WOW, michele aren’t you lucky you have a husband who does such nice things…” Initially I thought oh, yeah, i guess i am but the improvemnets were never anything vital, he never does little jobs I ask for,like make a proper fence for my dog who always jumps out if i forget to put her inside for a storm, or fix that bit of wood skirting back so that when i vacuum I don’t knock it loose by mistake, he made a fancy patio when we already had an ordinary patio and he installed a dishwasher when I didn’t even want or need one, lots of stuff that no doubt increases the value of our home but there have been so many times when I have not been able to manage and have been borrowing from peter to pay paul, the toll on my health I have to say has been severe in the past from stress and worry. It has hurt me so much that he could know I was suffering and knowingly keep that money from me that I could have used to pay school fees etc or bills just so he could do his little projects. I personally could never do that, if I knew he or any member of my family or friends were worrrying themselves sick like that and i had the spare cash even if i was saving for something special i would give it to them… life’s too short and it’s only material goods, better to help someone out than save up for rangehoods, patios and rock walls. I don;’t think he does it now as we are better off and the kids have grown up and left home, things are niot so strained, but it wouldn’t surprise me if i disovered he still did. That’s the worst of it.I learned that he would put his desires over my needs if he felt like that. We’ce been married 22 years and I would say have a pretty good marriage, he’s a good husband in many ways but I don’t think I ever will understand this trait of his and I don’t think much of it. When people comment to me about things he’s done to the house I say to them, ” I don’t care a fig about it ” I had a perfectly good patio, stove etc before that, not as pretty but nothing worng with it, and the trauma that all cost me in terms of not beeing able to pay my bills because of it was not worth it, to ME. I always tell people, that it HIS patio and HIS wall and HIS whatever becasue I never got asked diod I want this or did i think it was a good idea. He just did it anyways. I love him but I think this was selfish. I could never do that to anyone.

]]> By: Links for Super-Charged Living - May 10, 2008 | My Super-Charged Life http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7338 Links for Super-Charged Living - May 10, 2008 | My Super-Charged Life Sat, 10 May 2008 12:01:30 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7338 [...] Wise    Do You Steal Money From Your Spouse?Plan Ahead- 6 Steps to Secure Your Financial [...] [...] Wise    Do You Steal Money From Your Spouse?Plan Ahead- 6 Steps to Secure Your Financial [...]

]]> By: ideal4investors http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7305 ideal4investors Wed, 07 May 2008 00:19:33 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7305 My husband cleans out my wallet all the time and he even takes my credit cards. I ended up flying to Chicago on a business trip a couple of years ago with no money and no credit cards. I know what I married and now I know to always check my wallet before I leave the house! My husband cleans out my wallet all the time and he even takes my credit cards. I ended up flying to Chicago on a business trip a couple of years ago with no money and no credit cards. I know what I married and now I know to always check my wallet before I leave the house!

]]> By: Carnival Of Money Stories #58 - Dollar Coins Edition | Free From Broke http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7297 Carnival Of Money Stories #58 - Dollar Coins Edition | Free From Broke Tue, 06 May 2008 11:40:16 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7297 [...] Roller presents Do You ‘Steal’ Money From Your Spouse? posted at The Dough Roller | Smarter Money Management. Hmm…I guess there is a fine line [...]

]]> By: What Mrs. Micah does when she’s feeling silly: Roundup http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7289 What Mrs. Micah does when she’s feeling silly: Roundup Mon, 05 May 2008 14:40:51 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7289 [...] Roller would like to know if you “steal” money from your spouse. I don’t…I can’t imagine. Even $20 that he’d planned on having would be a [...] [...] Roller would like to know if you “steal” money from your spouse. I don’t…I can’t imagine. Even $20 that he’d planned on having would be a [...]

]]> By: Weekend Roundup: Busy Week Edition | beingfrugal.net http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7273 Weekend Roundup: Busy Week Edition | beingfrugal.net Sat, 03 May 2008 11:03:09 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7273 [...] Do You ‘Steal’ Money From Your Spouse? at The Dough Roller [...] [...] Do You ‘Steal’ Money From Your Spouse? at The Dough Roller [...]

]]> By: Valerie http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7215 Valerie Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:41:54 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7215 I've never taken money from my husband's wallet. If I need $20, I'll ask for $40. He'll negotiate with me down to $20, and be pleased with his bargain! I’ve never taken money from my husband’s wallet. If I need $20, I’ll ask for $40. He’ll negotiate with me down to $20, and be pleased with his bargain!

]]> By: jm http://www.doughroller.net/money-management/steal-money-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-7213 jm Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:12:52 +0000 http://www.doughroller.net/2008/04/29/steal-money-spouse/#comment-7213 Are you serious? Even when I ask my wife for cash, I actually physically bring her purse to her and ask her to fish it out, even if she says "Just get it out of my wallet in my purse downstairs" because I am *that* uncomfortable with the idea of going through her purse. You do not go through a woman's handbag. I would *never* consider 'stealing' from my wife, even in an emergency, even if it meant walking home to get my wallet to go back to the gas station to pay for the stupid gas. Of course it would never come to that extreme because I am good with money. Are you serious? Even when I ask my wife for cash, I actually physically bring her purse to her and ask her to fish it out, even if she says “Just get it out of my wallet in my purse downstairs” because I am *that* uncomfortable with the idea of going through her purse. You do not go through a woman’s handbag.

I would *never* consider ’stealing’ from my wife, even in an emergency, even if it meant walking home to get my wallet to go back to the gas station to pay for the stupid gas.

Of course it would never come to that extreme because I am good with money.

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